Daily De-Covet

Yep, it’s happened.  Write down the day, the day that will live in infamy.  The day that I, Amy Grace, am not coveting anything.  Not anything in particular, anyway.  As hard as I have tried today, and as many websites as I scoured while waiting for my car hatch latch to be fixed, I could not find a single thing worth posting.

So, my loyal followers, I will give you the top 10 things I do not covet today instead.  Try to control your excitement!

Cry Baby...

10.  The Iowa Caucus finished up last night, and since I am a neighbor to Iowa, I seem to get more than my fair share of political calls at inopportune times (read ALWAYS!) I do not covet these.

9.  It’s 48 degrees right now in Middle America, and my Mac’s weather icon says we should be expecting almost 60 tomorrow.  It’s been like this for several weeks, and it looks like it may continue into the beginning of the next one.  It will end sometime, and we will be repaid handsomely with snow, ice and treachery soon.  I do not covet these.

8.  I have work to do.  My virtual boss (she’s real, but we’ve only met once in person.  And she lives 10 hours away.) sent me a copywriting assignment with plenty of categories to complete.  I do not covet these.

7.  We generally eat 3 meals and 1 snack at our house.  Coming up with something to make for 3 meals per day, 7 days per week is awful for me.  I would rather jam a sharpened pencil into my palm.  I do not covet these.

6.  I gave up shaving my legs last fall, and started waxing instead.  It’s great that the hair grows in slower and softer each time, but sucks that you have to wait for it to get long enough to be ripped out again.  They are especially unsightly when I have to wear workout pants that only go to my knees.  I do not covet these hairs.

5.  I took another close look at the tile that is my kitchen counter top.  It’s awful.  No matter how much I scrub, dig and bleach, the grout is dingy and dirty.  It doesn’t help that I live with 3 children (ok 2, but my husband doesn’t wipe up spills either.)  And who’s brilliant idea was it anyway, to use tile and grout for a counter top?  I do not covet these.

4., 3.  Sadly, I was not blessed with a lithe little body or the Hollywood metabolism that keeps starlets thin without even trying… ahem, right!…so there are at least 4 days per week, when I must drag my butt to a Body Blast class, Zumba or to run rat-like on an annoying cardio machine.  I do not covet these days.  Or these machines.

2.  My husband bought me new, super cute Uggs for Christmas.  (Yes, the ones on my daily covet!)  They were too big.  So I reordered from Ugg.com, and they sent me a new “pair” in my size, yet one boot was significantly larger than the other.  I do not covet boots in different sizes.

1.  And last, but definitely not least, I have had a knot in my shoulder for weeks now.  I’m pretty sure it’s from excessive typing in a non-ergonomic fashion.  As I type, it’s zinging me with sharp pin-like pains, while simultaneously maintaining the ever-present dull ache.  I do not covet this.

There you have it!  You don’t even have to stay up late to watch Letterman tonight… you can get your top 10 and all my complaining in one sitting.  Thanks for hanging in there with me!

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The more they age, the more they stay the same…

My husband and I watched the movie “Wall Street,” circa ’87 in preparation for our date this weekend.  We are going to see “Money Never Sleeps.”  It floored me that the men in that movie have not aged.

Tonight, I am watching Jay Leno’s show, whatever it’s called these days… and Patrick Dempsey is plugging his new Transformers movie (sidebar, KACK!)  He hasn’t aged either.

People will say that most women in Hollywood don’t age either but I disagree.  I think they age but they are able to somehow transform them onscreen.  So I decided to make a list of Hollywood leading men that have not changed in 30+ years.

Michael Douglas.  Pre-cancer diagnosis and lack of hair dye.

Charlie Sheen.  Drug problems haven’t ruined this guy’s good looks… maybe his ability to pick good roles… Two and a Half Men but whatever.

Martin Sheen.  This guy has been cryogenically frozen and only gets out to work, I think.  He’s looked the same since “Apocalypse Now” save the mustache he donned for Top Gun but he’s a cute man and actually even made a mustache look good.

Rob Lowe.  He’s on the cover of some men’s magazine this month and all I can say is “Hubba Hubba HU-BUH.”

Tom Cruise.  With the exception of Top Gun, that guy has never looked better (save the times when his hair is longer and greasy looking) or acted worse.

Bruce Willis.  Has always been cute, got H.O.T. after the end of that miniseries with Cybil Shepherd… brain freeze… hair plugs or not, he looks good and has a fabulous body!

Bono, while not technically “Hollywood,” he is an icon.  I haven’t decided which has suffered less, his looks or his voice.  Both are still as smooth as butt-uh!

Sting.  Enough said.

This list could be a long one so I’ll stop there.  The more men I add to the list, the more depressed I become.  While I am all about aging gracefully, especially for women, I am starting to resent my darling husband for also becoming even better looking in his old age (he’ll promptly remind me he’s 18 months younger than I!)

I guess I’ll take solace in the fact that when I am a broke down old lady, I can tell people that the adorable and ageless man that lives at my house, is my “pool boy!”

Next list.  Things to do or get.  Pool.

October, 2010

Germany's Bravo, 1986